The Girl With No Name
by pandas-wearing-green-shoes
Summary: This story is about the marauders and the main character is Remus Lupin.He sees a mysterious girl and can't stop thinking about her. In this story he begins being gay, but becomes more and more confused as it goes along. Please review!
1. She

**She**

**By Claire**

**This is a sad yet romantic story with some funny pairings. It is all about when the marauders were at Hogwarts and honestly does get better. Please review, I would be glad to hear them. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: A moonlight mystery.**

A lonely figure stood on the moonlit balcony. She looked calm and peaceful and yet her eyes betrayed her. For underneath those deep brown eyes sadness and despair shone. Her face remained completely blank as she simply stared into the night.

Remus wanted to go and comfort the girl but found he could only stand and stare. He stood perfectly still. He watched. He waited. The longer he watched her, the more he felt he knew her. He could not tell you her name or age, but it did not matter. He knew her face, every line, every smile and every laugh. He knew her eyes, whether the twinkle or just the deep remorse which flowed through him.

Yes, he thought to himself, those were the important things to know.

Maybe, if I watch her for long enough I might see how to make hey eyes less sad. No, even in his head that sounded stupid.

He turned and sat at a little desk behind him and began to draw her. Remus had never been an exceptional drawer (unlike his friend James) but he looked down at the finished portrait it was definitely (even if he did say so himself) exceptional. It showed the girl completely as he saw her, tall, mysterious and yet unhappy. When he had finished admiring the picture he titled it "she". He did not know why exactly, but it felt right as if someone had told him to write it there.

She, he thought to himself later as he lay awake in bed, she could be anyone. No, he thought again, there was only one person it could be.

The following morning he left his four poster bed reluctantly and wondered: Had it all been a dream? Did I simply imagine the miserable girl?

He hoped not.

No, he saw as he dressed at speed, the picture was there. She was definitely real. As his eyes passed over the portrait he realised that the title had been changed. A question mark had been added to the end. It now read "She?" He felt a slight chill take over him. He knew he hadn't added the question mark, so who had? He had a tiny inkling that he knew who it was but apart from the picture had no evidence.

What was he going to do?


	2. Love, Lies and Squishy Pumpkin

Love, Lies and Squishy Pumpkins

Although Remus had been trying to blot the illusive girl out of his mind, he had been fairly unsuccessful. Whenever he wasn't concentrating, his mind wandered to the willowy girl on the balcony. He didn't know who she was, but knew that she must go to Hogwarts. After a while, even some of his more dim-witted friends had cottoned on. He told them he was fine, but his best friend didn't buy it.

Sirius had been Matthew's best friend (and frequently more) since they had begun Hogwarts five years ago. He _always _knew when Remus was upset. As Remus gave more mutters of I'm fine, Sirius pulled him up some stairs to a room where they could speak privately.

"Okay," said Sirius "Spill."

"What?" asked an obviously clueless Remus.

"You've been daydreaming in class, not answering teachers' questions and barely speaking to us. So tell me what's up."

"I guess I'm just tired." Lied Remus who had thought it best not to mention the girl he had seen.

"I know when you're upset and I don't like to see you like this."

"Well…"

"Spit it out." Sirius replied (though not unkindly).

Matthew sighed deeply.

"Okay," he began "There was this girl…"

"I see."

Silence followed this speech.

Suddenly Sirius stalked out leaving poor Remus feeling completely bewildered. He waited for a moment then hurried after him as comprehension dawned.

"No, it's not like that." he shouted across the common room.

"Not like what?" he paused, turning around.

"I'm still in love with you!" Remus blurted out, finally having caught up.

Sirius smiled.

"It wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while." he muttered.

Remus slipped his arms around his boyfriend's neck and after a quick peck on the lips he said,

"I don't fancy the girl, I just want to know more about her. You're my one and only!"

Sirius nibbled his ear affectionately and then proceeded to kiss him properly. After what seemed like an eternity Remus broke off, saying he had to get to class. This was actually true, but nonetheless, he felt a bubble of happiness rising inside him. This is gonna be one hell of a day! (he thought). He was not disappointed. When he walked out of charms class 1 hour later, he was feeling happier than he had done in years. Not only had he managed to turn his cheese into a pumpkin, but he had persuaded Professor Flitwick not to give him a detention for throwing squishy pumpkin at Severus Snape.

He walked into the great hall and sat down between James and Sirius. He had just begun shovelling jacket potato into his mouth when James spoke.

"What's this about a girl? Not going straight on us I hope?"

"It's nothing," Matthew said.

Sirius had gone bright red and was determinedly not looking at either of them.

"Oh yeah?" James said raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah!" said Remus defensively.

"Fine! Don't tell us then!" Shouted James as he stormed of angrily.

After a moment of awkward silence Sirius spoke.

"Don't worry about him. You know how he gets."

"I wasn't going to worry about him. I do know how he gets. But in my opinion, being a fucking git is actually better than being a friend who doesn't keep your secrets!" he shouted

"But…" Sirius pleaded.

"Just fuck off will you! I'm sick of this!" he interrupted striding out of the hall making a huge effort not to cry.

Great, he thought bitterly, I can't even trust my best friend. Just great.


	3. A full moon

A Full Moon

Remus's bad mood continued throughout the week. He was not talking to James or Sirius and had stopped going out too. He sat silently in lessons and rushed back to his dormitory afterwards. He knew that the full moon was near but couldn't face going into the whomping willow alone. If he wanted company, he was going to have to Apologise.

And apologising was something he really did not wish to do.

He thought long and hard about tricking them somehow, but knew that that would only give him more to apologise for. He knew his choices (apologise or go alone) but neither of those appealed. He decided to apologise. He decided to do it in the common room after dinner. He hoped that they would forgive him. They just had to.

He approached them cautiously, unsure of their reactions. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He stood in front of Sirius and James like a goldfish until Sirius came to his rescue.

"You want to apologise and ask if we'll accompany you on another one of our most excellent adventures. Dont you?"

"Er. Yeah. Is that a yes then?"

"Well," said prongs, in one of his voices that warned you he was going to say something that you really wouldn't like. "I think you should make it up to us."

Remus was mortified. This could only mean a famous Potter dare.

"How?" he asked in a polite voice that said only too well that he was not going to do anything that he didnt want to do.

"I think that you should do a little dare, just to show us how sorry you are. I think the punishment should fit the crime after all." the seeker replied, proving Remus's worst fears to be correct. "What do you think Pad?"

"I'm staying well out of this one mate. You go right ahead though, don't let me stop ya." said the tallest of the three, who was finishing a set of potions lines for slughorn.

"Ok!" James leapt to his feet "Lets see!"

"Oh God please dont let it involve worms." Remus said remembering a dreadful dare from a year ago, "I can still imagine the wriggling there sometimes."

"No worms, I swear. Right then. Lets see. I think that we should dare him to kiss this girl he likes so much. I pressume thats not a problem is it?" he said knowing full well of his friends true sexuality.

"No." said Remus defiantly "I'll do it."

He left and took refuge in the library. He was supprised to find that 10 minutes later he was the joined by his boyfriend.

"You don't have to do the dare you know. I could talk to James for you." He kindly offered.

"No," repeated Remus in the same deffiant voice he had used on James "I want to do it."

He got up, returned his book to the correct shelf and spoke once more.

"In fact, I'm going just now."

This was easier said than done. He had just left the library when he realised the enormity of his task. Not the kissing part, no that was easy, but actually finding the girl he knew so little about.

He set off for the main hall. There were still a few people enjoying a late dinner, he might just catch her. To his dismay, he did not see her silvery blonde hair was not among the duller colours. He set off back to his dormitory. Half way back, he remembered that he had a paper to give to Professor Downing, the charms teacher, so changed directions. Outside the office he heard a rapid conversation. It seemed like a young girl was pleading with her head of house.

"No! Sir, I beg of you. Please." she cried.

"I'll do as I please you ungrateful litttle girl." said a louder male voice "You are mine to use as I wish."

A sob rang through the air. Then a sound as though someone behind the door was getting up off the floor.

"That will do for tonight. But if you ever stop in the middle of it again, you know what will happen to your sister." bellowed form the man "Go. Now. Tell no-one where you have been."

A teary girl ran sobbing from the office. For a moment Remus forgot what he was doing there. Then, deciding it was more important (and being scared of disturbing a teacher in such a rage) he followed the girl. She had settled herself in a dark, disused classroom to mop herself up and heal her wounds with her wand. Remus knocked on the door and entered. He was startled to see her flich at the noise. It was definately the girl he had seen before. He looked tactfully away while she mended the holes in her clothes which were uncovering some very indecent places.

"Erm." He began awkwardly. "Are you ok?"

"Er, not really." she said in a quiet voice.

"Anything I can do?" he said regaining his confidence "Can we talk?"

"Well I would say no, but I'm guessin you heard what happened in the office?"

"Yeah," He apologised. "Sorry, I didn't try to but it was very loud."

"That's ok. I guess I'm actually glad someone knows now. I'm glad it was you Remus Lupin, you're a nice guy."

"How do you know my name?" asked a puzzled Moony. "And find out what?"

"I've been watching you. I know what you are and who you are always with."

"Oh." he said as his hope ebbed away. "So why arent you running away from me?"

"Because, your a nice guy. It's not your fault you were bitten."

"Wow. I had no idea anyone would be so understanding. I mean, my friends are of course, but if you've done stuff like I have with them you're not allowed to say anything." A rare grin emerged on his face. He had completely forgotten about her troubles. "Erm, if you know about that, do you know about my dare?"

"Yes."

"Erm, so, will you halp me?"

"Yes." And with that she kissed him. But it was a kiss more special than anything he had ever felt before. It was soft and gentle, yet passionate and ferocious. He didn't like to admit it, but he never wanted it to end. They walked back to Gryffindor common room (he said the password) still in a tight embrace. They continued kissing as passers by wolfwhistled and cheered. He suddenly pulled away.

Sirius was stood in the corner watching them.


	4. Not a happy Puppy

**Not a happy puppy**

_""Yes." And with that she kissed him. But it was a kiss more special than anything he had ever felt before. It was soft and gentle, yet passionate and ferocious. He didn't like to admit it, but he never wanted it to end. They walked back to Gryffindor common room (he said the password) still in a tight embrace. They continued kissing as passers by wolf-whistled and cheered. He suddenly pulled away._

_Sirius was stood in the corner watching them."_

There was a look upon Sirius's face that Remus had never experienced before. A single tear rolled down the face that was usually a sign of masculinity. He didn't wipe it away. He just stood completely still and silent. Remus's throat went dry. He hadn't thought about Sirius. He walked carefully up to him and tried to put his hand across his shoulders, only to find Sirius move out the way.

"Sirius?" Remus uttered. "Sirius, it was a dare. That's all, I swear."

Sirius shook his head disgustedly and left the room.

Remus was left in the common room with a Ravenclaw whose name he didn't even know. She looked into his eyes with a deep understanding. He gazed back into hers and noticed, once more, that they were not filled with happiness. They were sad, lonely and frightened. He wanted to look after her, but once more he found himself ignoring her troubles.

"I'm sorry." He said "I've got to talk to Sirius."

She muttered her farewell and left for her own common room. He turned his back and went up to their dormitory.

When he got up there he was unsurprised to find Sirius in the head boy's dormitory with James. He didn't know whether he should go and talk to him or just leave them be. He could not believe that Sirius was talking to James of all people. That made him angry. It was James who had dared him to do it in the first place. It wasn't as if he would have done it other wise.

Deciding to take a more passive line of action, he sat on his own bed and wrote Sirius a letter.

_Dear Pad,_

_I am so incredibly sorry for what you witnessed in the common room this evening. I assure you that I only did it because of the dare that James set me. I should have probably said no to it like he intended but for once I wished to show master Potter that I was not such a sad and pathetic human being. I wanted to talk to you, but when I saw you with James I realised that I probably shouldn't. _

_Firstly, I feel that it is necessary to tell you that I am still gay. I would love to get together with you at some point, but only if you want to. Secondly I think that it is important that you see sense and forgive me. It was nothing more than a kiss for a dare and I don't even know the girl's name. I am not proud of my actions and I hope to make them up to both you and her in due course._

_Yours most faithfully,_

_Moony_

There, he thought, short but sweet. Not my best work but it will do.

He folded the parchment and placed it upon Sirius's pillow and went to bed. He wanted to run and hug Sirius but his thoughts kept straying to the girl.

The next morning he rushed to the library without saying a word to anyone. His head was buzzing with thoughts as he tried his best to take in _A History of Transfiguration._

Why hadn't he asked her her name? It was only common courtesy after all. He was so stupid. Why had he even done the idiotic dare in the first place? Why had James given him a dare that he knew would end badly? And, most importantly, why was Sirius blaming him and not James? It just didn't make sense. His thoughts strayed back to the kiss. The dare hadn't said what type of kiss it had to be. Why hadn't he simply pecked her on the cheek? That could have been the end of it.

But after she had begun he found himself wanting more. It had, after all, been him who had introduced tongues. What did that mean? If he liked kissing a girl, did that make him a bisexual? Somehow that sounded worse than being gay. None of his kisses with Sirius or James had felt that good. Did that mean he was actually straight?

He threw his book in frustration. He stood for a second and then noticed Madame Pince's stare and hurriedly made the excuse that he had been turning a page and had accidentally dropped it. He picked up the book and left to sit outside underneath the beach tree. As he passed his charms teacher's office he noticed that there were raised voices within.

"Oh yeah! Right there, don't stop!" the male voice gushed.

"Sir (sob) please?" a girl's voice pleaded.

"MmmmHmmm!" the man was obviously having too much fun to hear her.

"Sir get off me." she began quietly.

"Oh, my." he said still having to much fun to notice her.

Suddenly she had had enough. She took out her wand and performed the full body bind curse. She dressed herself and ran out of the room knowing full well that she would pay for that later.

Remus followed her to the same empty classroom that they had made out in only the following day.

He knocked politely and then entered. He had expected to find her in a terrible rage as she had been when she left the classroom. He was therefore surprised to find her huddled in a corner with her arms hugged around her legs and tears streaming silently down her face. He slumped down next to her, unsure as what he should do. Crying women always made him uncomfortable. He was ok with guys. Their troubles were easy to sort out, all you needed was a few magic words and a small joke. Women were fare more difficult. Now that he thought about it, that was his only reason for being gay. He had never really been attracted to anyone (male or otherwise). Wow, he thought, what a crappy reason for being gay.

There I go again, he thought, I always mean to look after that poor girl and always end up thinking about something else. How selfish am I? He turned to their girl sitting next to him and found that she had gone. He hadn't even noticed. He felt even worse. What if she had tried to speak to him? What if he had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to listen to her? What if she had left because he was ignoring her? What kind of person did that make him?


End file.
